


Old Photographs

by TheExplodingPen



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Character Death, Feels, Flashbacks, Funerals, Hurt/Comfort, I'm sorry I can't write happy things, M/M, Memories, Songfic, but not Raleigh or Chuck, sex as comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 07:16:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9808859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheExplodingPen/pseuds/TheExplodingPen
Summary: Herc dies on a foggy Saturday morning in the middle of September.





	

Herc dies on a foggy Saturday morning in the middle of September.

Raleigh isn’t there when Chuck gets the news. The younger man’s animosity towards him didn’t exactly fade after Pitfall, and with the reopening of the Alaskan Shatterdome, Raleigh didn’t have much keeping him in Hong Kong. But he hears that Chuck immediately fell off the map, disappearing from the ‘dome within an hour of the older Australian’s passing.

And then, via a video call from Mako, Raleigh finds out that Herc died in the middle of a training exercise with his copilot.

They think it was some sort of aneurism, but Raleigh kind of stops paying attention to Mako’s explanation. All he can think about is that Chuck felt Herc die.

Mako tells him to leave it alone, but that’s what the PPDC did when Raleigh lost Yancy, and it was the worst few years of Raleigh’s life. Having nothing and no one after being constantly connected to someone sent him spiraling, and the only thing that brought him back was being dragged back into service. But Chuck isn’t going to have that opportunity unless there’s another worldwide crisis.

So Raleigh packs a bag and leaves Alaska that afternoon.

* * *

Finding Chuck is easier than Raleigh thought it would be. The kid’s famous, for one, and no matter where he goes, he sticks out like a sore thumb. He’s a young man with a veteran’s eyes and penchant for starting fights, and unsurprisingly, Raleigh finds him in a bar in Brazil, eyes a little glazed over even at 10 in the morning.

Raleigh pays his sizable tab, and then takes a seat next to the Australian. Chuck looks in his direction but doesn’t say anything, just goes back to staring at his glass. And Raleigh knows that look, remembers seeing it in the mirror when he bothered to care about his appearance. It’s mourning, but it’s also more.

The silence goes on for a good hour before Raleigh steels himself and says, “It feels like there’s an empty space in your head. And you’ve got conflicting memories, because you remember watching it happen, but you also remember it like it happened to you.”

_Yancy’s smile is victorious and he feels so elated, so alive. They’re on top of the world. Then Raleigh blinks and the con-pod breaks open on one of Yancy’s panting exhales, and Raleigh will never be able to forget that Yancy dies without any air in his lungs._

Chuck makes a sound in his throat, shaking his head. “Bastard knew he shouldn’t be drifting,” he says, and his voice is rough like Raleigh’s was for months after Knifehead, rough from tears and screams and the bile that always rises from the memories. Abruptly, Chuck slams his fist down on the table, and says,

_Raleigh remembers punching a concrete wall because the pain cuts through the haze of Yancy’s memories_

“What good are the fucking _geniuses_ at the ‘dome if they can’t even stop a fucking _heart attack_?”

Chuck stands, and the transition is blurry, but at some point, they come to an alley and Chuck tries to take a swing at Raleigh. He misses and Raleigh catches him before he can fall, and Chuck just collapses against him.

“He’s _gone_ ,” Chuck sobs, and Raleigh feels that odd sense of deja vu and relief when the man in his arms inhales. 

“And you aren’t,” Raleigh says, which no one thought to say to him all those years ago, because they didn’t understand the fear of _what if part of me went with him?_

Chuck sobs again and his hands fist in Raleigh’s shirt, and around them, it starts to rain, and the drops on Raleigh’s face are

 _gut-wrenching for so long because Yancy died in the rain_

refreshing. 

Raleigh sighs, drawing Chuck in close. “Let’s get you inside,” he murmurs, and Chuck ducks his head and lets Raleigh lead him out of the alley.

* * *

The motel is crappy, but it’s dry.

Chuck is _not_ dry, but he doesn’t protest when Raleigh gently strips his soaking clothes off him and urges him into the shower. Raleigh himself follows after a moment, and when Chuck goes back to leaning against him, Raleigh allows it.

And when Chuck digs his fingernails in Raleigh’s shoulders like he’s looking for a fight, Raleigh shushes him and presses a kiss to the palm of Chuck’s hand and pretends not to see the other man’s walls start to break down.

They fall into bed, still wet from the shower, but Chuck is needy and Raleigh remembers the multitude of strange men and women he turned to in order to feel _something_. And if Chuck needs to feel, the least Raleigh can do for him is to make sure those feelings don’t haunt him for the rest of his life.

So Raleigh kisses up Chuck’s neck and bites on the tendon there until it’s purple and bruised and Chuck is squirming underneath him, and when he feels the soft warmth of Chuck’s tears against the rise of his collarbone, he doesn’t comment, just licks over the mark with his tongue and presses a kiss to the spot under the younger man’s ear.

“Easy now,” Raleigh murmurs, when he finally pushes into the tight heat of Chuck’s body, and “That’s it,” and “It’s okay,” and “So, so good,” when Chuck relaxes underneath him.

_The man tosses a twenty on the sheets as he zips up his pants, a sneer on his face. “Construction ain’t the business for you, kid,” he says as he leaves, and Raleigh hears Yancy’s voice in that last word and he throws up in the bathroom with the stranger’s taste still in his mouth._

Chuck is needy, greedy for every one of Raleigh’s touches. His eyes, still red-rimmed, are open, and Raleigh wonders a little if _he_ looked this vulnerable all those years ago.

“Ray,” Chuck breathes, and Raleigh brushes their noses together and watches as Chuck shakes apart, fingernails digging into the scars on his shoulders. 

He finishes trembling later, his fingers slowly uncurling from their grip on Raleigh’s shoulders. And Raleigh is still inside him, but when he goes to move Chuck moves with him, until Raleigh’s the one on his back and Chuck is on top of him, cheeks flushed and hair a mess. 

“Can I…?” he asks, like Raleigh would say no, _could_ say no. In response, Raleigh settles his hands on Chuck’s hips and rocks him forward just a little, just enough that Chuck, still sensitive, whines high in his throat and drops his hands to Raleigh’s chest. 

“Take it easy,” he says, his voice a little rough with some sort of emotion. It’s not pity, though. It’s some form of kinship that makes Raleigh hear the sounds coming from Chuck in his memories, back when they fell from his own mouth. And back then they were disregarded, ignored, but Raleigh catches every one and lets Chuck press them into his skin, engraving them into what’s left of his soul.

He comes easily, hips pushing up into Chuck of their own accord, and the younger man sucks in a breath when he does. And Raleigh isn’t going to leave Chuck with the same memories he has, so he rolls them over and pulls the blanket up over them and tucks Chuck into his chest.

“Go to sleep,” he murmurs into Chuck’s hair, and for once, the man actually listens.

* * *

At the funeral, they show a picture from Manila. Horizon Brave’s pilots are in it, and Herc is as well, along with Raleigh and Yancy and the handful of techs that helped them take down the Category IV. Had it happened two months later, Chuck would have been there too, standing next to his father. But he was still in the Academy, sixteen years old and setting records.

Raleigh’s the only one still alive. The realization makes his stomach turn, and when he meets Chucks eyes a few seats away, he knows that the other man is thinking the same thing.

That night, Chuck holds him a little tighter, and Raleigh wonders if this is what it’s like to feel alive.

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SORRY OKAY
> 
> You can thank "The Kids Aren't All Right" by Fall Out Boy for this one.


End file.
